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Post subject: American Liberals Seeking Into Canada
Post Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 7:55 am
From an email I received.

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night."I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul, & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.
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Post subject: Re: American Liberals Seeking Into Canada
Post Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 10:10 am
The accordion player in the Lawrence Welk show was Myron Floren who I got to meet when he was the guest performer at my high school spring concert in 1965. (My senior year)

AlanM
There are no dangerous weapons; there are only dangerous men. - RAH
Four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo - use in that order.
If you aren't part of the solution, then you obviously weren't properly dissolved.
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Post subject: Re: American Liberals Seeking Into Canada
Post Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 2:45 pm
AlanM wrote:
The accordion player in the Lawrence Welk show was Myron Floren who I got to meet when he was the guest performer at my high school spring concert in 1965. (My senior year)


Cool getting to meet him. I barely remember Lawrence Welk as a kid; however, when I'm at the in-laws I have to watch reruns.
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Post subject: Re: American Liberals Seeking Into Canada
Post Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 1:53 am
I'm 48 and I remember, (faintly), my mother watching that show.

Not a fan of accordion music but my grandmother owned one and played it quite well or so I thought.

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They say the best "Home Remedy" for Tyranny is... LEAD POISONING!
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Post subject: Re: American Liberals Seeking Into Canada
Post Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:46 pm
Does anyone have any idea just how hard it is to either hid or
fire a handgun from an accordion even during a Lawrence Welk
program while trying to maintain a it's a 1 and a 2 and a 3 ?

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