After Surgery Communications

Humor related forum. Post your jokes, funny pics and videos.

Moderator: Rich 2.0

Post Reply
Old Timer
Posts: 132
Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2015 5:17 pm
Location: Dayton/WPAFB area

After Surgery Communications

Post by Old Timer » Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:26 pm

A male patient was lying in bed in the hospital wearing an
oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, recovering from a firing
range mishap, still heavily sedated from a four hour long difficult
surgical procedure.

A young student nurse appeared to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," He mumbled from behind the O2 mask, "are my testicles back?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse, "I do not know, sir, I'm only here to
wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles and asks again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his vital signs from worry about his testicles,
she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in
the other, lifting them around. She then takes a close look and says,
"There's nothing wrong with them sir."

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles kindly at her and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much; that was wonderful, but listen very, very Closely..........


"Are my test results back?"
So Mote It Be.
Aging is not for the timid
NRA Benefactor Member

User avatar
SMMAssociates
Site Admin
Posts: 6726
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2007 11:01 pm
Location: Youngstown OH

Re: After Surgery Communications

Post by SMMAssociates » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:01 am

Old Timer:

In 2005, I had some not-quite-minor surgery at a local hospital. I woke up with a gastric tube, a catheter, and an IV with a Morphine pump.

I was sufficiently drugged up that I barely noticed the nurse checking the catheter.

Not the worst problem until the catheter had to come out. The surgeon pulled the gastric tube - not something you'd want to do for fun, but nothing special. However, they sent a gal in to pull the catheter. Having a female do it didn't bother me too much, but she looked to be about 12.... Jailbait?

Regards,
Stu

(Why write a quick note when you can write a novel?)

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

יזכר לא עד פעם

Old Timer
Posts: 132
Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2015 5:17 pm
Location: Dayton/WPAFB area

Re: After Surgery Communications

Post by Old Timer » Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:22 pm

I can only hope that young thing knew the difference between a
Foley catheter and a straight tape on catheter. Other wise
you may have ended up with a slightly higher voice!
So Mote It Be.
Aging is not for the timid
NRA Benefactor Member

User avatar
SMMAssociates
Site Admin
Posts: 6726
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2007 11:01 pm
Location: Youngstown OH

Re: After Surgery Communications

Post by SMMAssociates » Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:37 pm

Old Timer:

Didn't change my voice any.... :D Just embarrassment. Awfully young....

Regards,
Stu

(Why write a quick note when you can write a novel?)

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

יזכר לא עד פעם

Post Reply