Old drunk driving story

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Old drunk driving story

Post by AlanM » Sun Dec 07, 2014 5:33 pm

John Windsor was flagged down by a gendarme in the Champs Elysee in Paris. It was close to midnight and he was on his way back to his brother-in-law's house in Rue Cler. The truth was inescapable, John was as drunk as a skunk.

The gendarme signals to him to wind down the window then asks John if he has been drinking, and with a slurring speech the Englishman replies; 'Yes, this morning I was at my (hic) daughter's wedding during the banquet I remember downing two great bottles of wine; a Corbieres, and a Minervois, oh and (hic)...a sauterne with the cake.' 'Then to finish off during the celebrations in the evening ...me and my mate Trevor downed a bottle of Bells whisky.'

Getting impatient the gendarme warns him; 'Do you realize I'm a policeman and have stopped you for a breathalyser test'?

John, with a grin on his face replies; 'You don't seem to understand that I'm English, like my car, and that my teetotal wife is sitting in the other seat, at she's at the wheel - not me!
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Re: Old drunk driving story

Post by SMMAssociates » Mon Dec 08, 2014 5:32 am



You'd think that a Gendarme would see enough English cars, though :D.... But I've known more than one LEO who would be confused over here....

I also knew a guy who was in England on a Fulbright and managed to celebrate the end of the course in the hospital. He stepped off the curb and forgot that cars in the closest lane were NOT heading away from him. (I.e., looking to the left wasn't much help there.)

I don't recall what happened, but another friend was convinced that the "management" removed parts of your brain as you got promoted. He made Captain and disappeared.

His PD put in a vacuum transport system for paperwork, and somebody put a hamster in one of the capsules. "Rocket J. Hamster".... I don't think the guilty parties were ever caught.


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Re: Old drunk driving story

Post by Viking » Tue Dec 09, 2014 9:50 am

Funny --- silly English and their wrong-side driving.
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Re: Old drunk driving story

Post by ThawMyTongue » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:06 pm

This made me laugh heartily... weird how some things strike you just right sometimes.

Better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt.

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