Battle of the Three Kingdoms

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Battle of the Three Kingdoms

Post by zeko » Fri Apr 24, 2015 8:33 pm

Many years ago in central Europe, before the rise of the modern nation state, there were three kingdoms which bordered on a lake in which there was a small island. A dispute arose among the kingdoms as to which owned the island, and it was decided to settle the matter by combat.

On the eve of the appointed day, two of the kingdoms each sent several knights to the lake, each of which brought several squires. When camp had been set up, the knights relaxed and rested while their squires polished armor and sharpened swords.
The third and smallest kingdom could only send one knight with no squires; he could do nothing but watch the proceedings of the other two kingdoms and consider his rather dim prospects in the coming battle.

Suddenly there was a rustle in the underbrush, and a long-armed, rough-looking man appeared. "I hate to see such an unequal contest," he said to the lone knight, "and I would like to be your squire. However, I should tell you that I have my own ways of doing things, and I am unlikely to change. In view of this, would you accept me as your squire for this battle?"

Not having much choice, the lone knight agreed. "Good," said the newcomer, and disappeared into the underbrush, to reappear carrying a long rope and a cauldron. He sought out a tree with a limb about eight feet from the ground, tied the cauldron up tight against the limb, and built a roaring fire that reached clear up to the cauldron. Presently he took the cauldron down and served its contents for supper. To the hungry lone knight, it tasted good.

The next morning, the new squire shouted in a loud voice, "Fellow squires! This island is really too small a matter to require the attention of all these knights. I propose that we squires settle the matter among ourselves." Enraged at such arrogance, the other squires charged furiously at the speaker. However, he quickly fashioned a lasso from his rope, and with one mighty sweep of his long arm lassoed all the other squires and began dragging them toward the lake. Suddenly panicking, they broke loose and ran for their lives. Seeing their squires all departing, the other knights quickly mounted their horses and galloped after them, leaving the lone knight and his new squire in sole undisputed posession of the island.

Thus was won the battle of the three kingdoms; and all because the squire of the high pot and noose was equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

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Re: Battle of the Three Kingdoms

Post by Joe Sixpack » Fri Apr 24, 2015 8:49 pm

well the ending was lost on me.

but it was interesting even so.
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Re: Battle of the Three Kingdoms

Post by Old Timer » Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:26 pm

zeko wrote: Thus was won the battle of the three kingdoms; and all because the squire of the high pot and noose was equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
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Re: Battle of the Three Kingdoms

Post by AlanM » Sat Apr 25, 2015 3:02 am

The first version of this joke I ever heard was over 54 years ago told by my 7th grade math teacher.
True story I swear. AlanM
(That he told the story, not his trip. Whether the trip incident happened is up for you to decide.)

Here's his story as he told it and his question to us, his class:
This last summer we went on a vacation trip to the south west.
At one point we toured an Indian reservation and saw a lot of interesting sights and met a lot of interesting people.
During one stop I happened to stroll down a line of native American vendors.
Most of them had their hand-made items for sale laid out on the ground and they were sitting nearby on a tanned animal skin.
It was also my habit to engage the people I met in conversation and try to learn a little about each of them.
On this particular day the tribe we were visiting seemed to be heavier built that others we had met.
First I met an Indian woman sitting on a horse hide with her son standing behind her. In talking to them I happened to note that the boy weighed 140 pounds.
Next in line was another Indian woman on a buffalo skin, again with son helping her. He turned out to weigh in at 160 pounds.
Lastly I came to a large Indian woman sitting on a highly unusual hippopotamus skin and while talking to her found that she weighed 300 pounds.

Upon learning this I was immediately reminded of a very famous Greek and his theorem.
Can anyone in the class tell me what it is?

Answer: The Greek is Pythagoras and it's the Pythagorean theorem:
The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the son's of the squaws of the other two hides.
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